Archive for July, 2006

Monday musings

Monday, July 31st, 2006

The Ritas are up, and so are the Golden Hearts.

Lovely to see Stephanie Feagan taking the Best First Book Award, and there was much cheering about Liz’s. Best Short Contemporary win. It’s only a shame Liz AND Bronwyn couldn’t have won that together. I hate when you’re torn between favourites…

I recognise names in the Golden Hearts, but it’s always hard to marry e-mail or online names with people’s real life personas… I’m sure I’m missing someone I ought to be mentioning, but there you go.

In Other News, it’s a rainy Monday, and that’s just what I need. Last night’s walk was under a luminous silver sky, with two layers of dark cloud blowing underneath at different speeds. The trees ducked and danced and creaked and everything was very ominous and boding. Marvellous.

In Other Other News, keep an eye on the progress meter, it should start moving again. Don’t know what happened to me in the last couple of weeks (well, I do, we reached a bit of a negative watershed in the pursuit of pregnancy and it hit me hard. But that’s another story) but I’m getting a grip on the story again.

PS – I just had to go through and delete a bunch of wrongly placed apostrophes. *blank, shocked look*. Maybe I’m not as together today as I thought I was. *wink*

God Bless Anger

Saturday, July 29th, 2006

Well, I wasn’t wrong. Cheerful cut in later Friday afternoon, and hasn’t yet gone bye-bye.

I’m having a rather serene Saturday morning – I had my first glass of water and my banana sitting in the arbour seat in the front garden, surrounded by flowering passion flower and honeysuckle. I watched the great buzzing bumbles, and the clouds of hoverflies hunting aphids and drinking nectar from the aquilegias and flat yellow fennel flowers.

Pippi joined me, very happy to sit beside me on the cushion while I combed the hair on her chest with my fingers. Minnie was hunting flies in the neighbour’s garden while Cleo and Chrissy sat inside on the windowsill and looked out with envious eyes. Poor dears, we haven’t got them ‘done’ yet, so they’re not allowed outside into the world of hungry-eyed, swaggering, stalking toms.

Now I’m at my desk, catching up online, eating a distressingly non-descript oat bar and fantasising about french bread and brie.

The weight’s still coming off, though. So for now the brie will remain fantasy and the oats reality.

Curses.

Chop and Change

Friday, July 28th, 2006

I love emotions.

I say this in the same way a gardener might say, “I love rain,” or, “I love manure.”

When I left to go to work this morning I was in the grip of a crawling depression. Crawling like snails, something injured, or flies on an open wound.

Now I’m so angry I’m laughing like a hyena. Nothing serious, just a passive-aggressive bitch queen from hell failing to give me essential information.

I remember a character in a Mary Stewart book talking about anger being a “chemically useful reaction”. I think it was Charity Selbourne in Madam Will You Talk. It’s true to say I don’t feel down any more. Possibly, once the adrenalin of the anger had worn off and I’ve stopped snarling, I might experiment with an hour or so of cheerfulness.

Or alcohol.

Heat Wave – the up side

Tuesday, July 25th, 2006

It’s like this. I don’t enjoy heat.

No, no, no.

This is not a body that was born to sweat. Heat makes me uncomfortable, it makes me feel unwell, and it makes my brain stop working.

There is a REASON I live in the far north of England. It’s cooler up here. Allegedly.

Now I know that to many of you thirty degree C temperatures (what is that, 90s?) are nothing to write home about. For me, they’re a reason to hit the river.

Near where we live, and nearer to where Husband works, is a small valley in the Lake District called Borrowdale. Pretty much all my favourite things can be found there. In the middle is a tiny craggy hillock called Castle Crag – you know some of the old Russian fables and fairy tales where the wizard always put his heart somewhere else to keep it safe? Castle Crag is where I keep my heart – and past Castle Crag winds the Derwent, a sweet, clean, clear river, speeding over rapids and lingering through deep, shaded pools until at last it slides past whispering rushes to Derwent Water.

Wainwright called this the loveliest square mile in Lakeland for a reason.

When I go to the river, I’m travelling light, so I rarely take my camera. But I have found one picture of the spot I swim in, plus a picture from up high of part of the valley.


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It’s a bit of alright, really, isn’t it?

Gene Genie

Monday, July 24th, 2006

The traumatic furore over Susie the tortoise’s near-death experience (she’s fine, btw – I saw her at the weekend, savaging a melon) and miraculous recovery got me thinking about what we inherit from our parents.

And I’m not talking about Nanna’s Delft vase, or the antique bread board (pretty please, Mum).

We’re a product of our upbringing, of course, but what we inherit from our parents isn’t always obvious.

It wasn’t so much Susie’s trauma that distressed me, it was Dad’s devastation. Because I totally understood and empathised with it. From Dad I inherited my sense of responsibility towards animals, my joy in them, and my fear for them.

But the way I responded to my distress was straight from Mum – tears and reassuring words. Real, natural, honest emotion, sympathy and mothering. From Mum, too, I have a sense of animals that are ‘true to themselves’ (Mum’s mantra), animals as separate, natural beings with intrinsic value beyond the enjoyment or products we get from them, not just as furry humans, and not restricted by our expectations.

So, all very interesting, I’m sure, but so what?

Well, consider this:- What do your characters actually inherit from their parents?

I think about the books of friends and contemporaries – Kate Walker (The Antonakos Marriage, for example), Julie Cohen (how about Delicious?) and Michelle Styles (Try Gladiator’s Honour spring to mind – and can easily spot the influence parents have had on their offspring, whether those parents are an active part of the story or not.

Less so in my own books. In fact, so much less so, I’m cringing. Let’s take a closer look, shall we?

(Some of the characters are double counted if they fit more than one category)

2 of my heroes feel they have nothing in common with their parents (one has nothing in common with his dead parents)
4 heroes can count five dead parents between them
3 out of 4 of my heroines are orphans (although they weren’t orphaned as young children)
1 hero has a mother he’s very close to, but she plays no part in the story
1 heroine is in violent conflict with her father, and her mother is dead
1 heroine is only in touch with her dead fiance’s mother.

In my defence, I can also pick out where the parental inheritance is clear and part of the motivation… but it’s still true to say that for some of my characters, I know next to nothing about their parents.

So what does this mean? Does it mean I had a childhood I’m trying to forget?

No. I had a lovely childhood, thankyouverymuch.

It means I’m a lazy writer.

It means I’m writing parents out of the story so I don’t have to deal with a complication, like having complex action happening ‘off-screen’ to avoid difficult descriptive work (which I DON’T do, thank God – writing action is one of my strengths).

This has got to stop.

To help it getting stopped, I’ve developed a short list of questions. I should say, though, that my attitude to character questionnaires is that asking them – thinking about them – is more important than answering them. Answers are a bonus, but awareness is key.

1) Who are her/his parents?
2) What did/do they do?
3) How is he/she the same?
4) How does she/he try to be different – do they succeed?
5) Does he/she owe their physical appearance their parents? (In other words, who has whose nose???)
6) What creeds and codes have they inherited?
7) What fears and insecurities have they inherited?
8) Are there any circumstances in which they’d want their parents’ advice, or would think, “what would they do?” What are they?
9) If his/her parents are dead, when and in what circumstances do they miss them?
10) If they’re alive, do they meet? How often? Where and when?

For me, I’m never going to have this information lined up at the start. I’ll ‘discover’ it as I write. But unless I’m looking out for the answers, I’ll never find them.

Go and have a play with your own characters, and see if you’ve avoided this particular pitfall.

Oh, and phone your Mum for a chat. You know she likes that.

Meanderings

Thursday, July 20th, 2006

There was a crack of thunder last night, and a rush of rain, and my brain came back online.

Thank God. I was beginning to think my synapses were permanently melted.

So while I am capable of rational thought (or as rational as I get. And, looking at my calendar, I see this is going to be a short-term situation. Ah, Eve. Next time you encounter something snake-like and beguiling offering a taste of its delectable fruit, make sure and tell it you spit, don’t swallow) I wanted to ramble on about a couple of things.

1) I’m currently reading two books at once, as usual. In fact, when I’m not writing, I’m often reading three books. One is the DaVinci Code. Yes, I know. I’m so behind. I’m enjoying the pace and action, and finding everything else incredibly frustrating. Long-suffering Husband has now decreed that if I can’t stop whining and exclaiming in outrage (this is writer outrage, not catholic outrage, you understand) I should stop reading it. But currently all my willpower is engaged with losing weight, and I want to see what else goes horribly wrong.

The other book is a bookcrossing book I picked up from Julie – I Capture The Castle. If The DvC is my bedroom book, then ICTC is my bathroom books. I’m spending so much time in there, I’m going to need to get padding for the loo seat.

I adore everything about this book!

I am wondering, though, why I left both these books behind when I packed to go away after work today. Perhaps because I like to leave everything behind and do different things when I go away? One to ponder.

2) I’m going through a tough ‘desperate to be pregnant’ stage. I find it comes and goes in phases, and I am getting much better about not suppressing it, and dealing wtih it matter-of-factly. I’m sitting here in a coffee shop – waiting for a meeting with a chef, actually – and there’s this beautiful child sitting opposite. All strawberry blonde hair and frowning concentration. You know what I love most about children? Their logic. The way they think, the way they learn, the way they reason and argue. When I’m done here I shall go back to the car and cry for half a minute or so, and then I’ll drive to Halford’s and buy new wiper blades.

UPDATED POST MEETING. So, my meeting (a very nice man) turns up…. with his four-year-old granddaughter. She was fabulously naughty, and lovely to be with, a bright, testing, intelligent sprite of a child. And half a minute ain’t gonna cut it.

Don’t think, by the way, that I’m asking for sympathy. It just does me an awful lot of good discussing this like a grocery list, along with everything else that’s going on.

3) The WIP is progressing well, but I find myself wondering if I was always this anxious about revisions. I remember rewriting McWife (which I should get used to calling Run Among Thorns) at a far more drastic level. I remember angsting about making it all link up properly. But RAT is a very action-led story, starting with a bang, and barely catching its breath. Whereas Danglies dwells in the ordinary world for a while, taking some time building tension and generating both a sense of foreboding and a sense of enchanted tranquility as a foil to the tragedy coming. It’s so important to get the right ingredients into that front end, I worry I’m losing more than I should in the cutting…

OTOH, I’ve just got another chapter to go and they’re in bed. Then their world falls apart, and they get running. After that, it’s easy. *wink*

Um.

Wednesday, July 19th, 2006

Too hot. Brain fried.

Going off to visit Mum and Bro (Dad is in Pyrenees) tomorrow night late.

See you Sunday.

Toodamn…. hot….

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